S works for a small independent arts school as a development director, loves her job, and relishes the time she spends with smart, arty high school kids and their equally precocious parents. However, working at a school with limited resources and progressive values, S is called upon to perform duties beyond that of your typical office worker.

Case in point, her office mate is running an auction for the school and we’ve been asked to spend a few days fostering a pure-bred puppy for an upcoming auction. The plan was that we would take care of the dog for a few days starting on March 11 and then turn him over to a loving family at the close of the event.

Usually, I’d be skeptical of an arrangement like this; auctioning a puppy doesn’t ensure that he’ll go to a good home and I’m a firm believer in rescuing animals from the pound rather than buying them from a breeder. However, the school S works for really is a special place and the parents who participate in the auction are highly unlikely to be brutal jerks. Besides, a few days is just long enough to enjoy some puppy love without having to deal with the long term consequences. It sounded like a perfect opportunity.

Yesterday, a month before the puppy is supposed to arrive, I was in the shower getting ready for a trip to the in-laws. There’s a knock at the door and pretty soon I hear my wife talking excitedly with someone on the front porch. You can probably guess what’s next. I walk out of the shower to find S standing in the middle of the living room, holding a gorgeous golden retriever puppy and looking more than a little terrified.

The breeder dropped the puppy off one whole month early!!!!!

We love little obi (pictures soon, I promise), but needless to say we’re seriously fucked; Not just because we have to take care of an adorable, little, hyper-active poop machine for 30 days, but because we’re going to have to give him up just after we’ve gotten to know and love him.

If you have any puppy tips, they would be much appreciated. I’m going to take a nap now.