El Chupacabra, on Phinney Ridge has good drinks, yummy food, one of the best jukeboxes in the city, and an outdoor deck perfect for lounging in the summer sun with friends. Sounds perfect, right? Not so much.

While all this is true, El Chupacabra also boasts some of the worst bartending and table service in the city. With the exception of one sweet, well-meaning bartender, the staff is glacier slow (A 1 hour wait for food and a second round of drinks?), mean, and clueless. We haven’t seen our friend the bartender the last few times we’ve been stupid enough to go and could only guess that he got sick of being ignored by the scoffing, cold, mean, slow-motion waitstaff. We certainly have.

On another note, El Chupacabra seems to live in the land of the disappearing wi-fi. One of the reasons I’ve put up with their shitty service for so long is the opportunity to enjoy a beer and my laptop on the front porch. On my last visit, I was told no, they didn’t have wireless and never had. I have no problem with bars and restaurants turning off their wi-fi. That’s what coffee shops are for. Who wants nerds hogging tables while they IM with their friends and drink $2 pints of PBR? What bugged me was the server’s snotty attitude, which combined with her ignorance, made me feel lied to.

If you don’t mind cigarette smoke and the occasional zombie movie playing on the tv (both pluses in my book), I’d recommend heading 3 blocks west to the much friendlier Tin Hat.